Monday, July 28, 2014

Where have the lazy days of summer gone?

Today I found myself simply thinking of...nothing.  I always seem to have something to think about, but as I sat at the bank today waiting on the teller to send my transaction back through I caught myself staring at a tree and thinking of absolutely nothing.

This my seem like no big deal and it's probably no. big. deal. However;  I have two jobs, four kids, three dogs, one cat and a husband.  My mind is always running all over the place.  It was a bit unsettling to have nothing running through my head.  But then again, really peaceful.  Why must we always be going, going, going.  Why are we always in a rush, hurrying kids along, cramming as much as we can in 24 hours before we get up and do it all over again.  Could there be time in the day for thinking of...nothing.  Time for just being still, letting our minds rest, letting our schedules have a break, allowing myself the opportunity to just move at a leisurely pace?   I feel like I don't have a crammed schedule, but I kind of do.  I tried to plan a pool party with some friends.  Monday's work best, it's when I don't work and Aiden doesn't have gymnastics.  So I got busy inviting people...when that day didn't work for most I thought about another day I could do it...but sadly, the rest of my week is busy. It's SUMMER!  I'm off work from teaching preschool, but I still have so much to do all the time.

I bring it on myself.  It's me, 100%.  Even when I vacation I want to go-go-go.  I don't find it relaxing to just sit...I find it BORING!  My father used to have a cabin cruiser boat on a lake in Northern Minnesota.  How he loved that boat. My mom loved it too once the work and prep was done.  He'd putter out to the middle of the lake and spend all day and sometimes over night out there.  Those were the worst for me.  I'd go stir crazy.  I hated it!  I often wondered why I couldn't enjoy my time out there, soft waves bobbing the boat, fishing off the back, swimming if I choose.  Or just sitting up top looking out at the blue water and forest all around.   The weather was usually gorgeous, with the sun shinning bright.  My dad would be tucked inside with a book, my mom sunning herself on the top.  Even my husband could sit back and relax while taking a nap.  I've come to the conclusion, I want to be lazy at home.  I want to relax at home.  When I go places I want to see places, spend time with people I visit, go have fun and then I want to come home and relax, but that doesn't happen very often because once you get home you have your everyday responsibilities again.  So it's back up and running, go-go-go, hurry-hurry-hurry....

So I'll take that quick minute of thinking of nothing and I'll savor it, cherish it and tuck it away as a memory of "that one time..."  before life snapped back into focus and we all started rushing around again.

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